I have kind of a natural ability to make people laugh. If you could see a shot of me in a swimsuit you’d know why!
You see that right there? That opening? That little crack about myself? I do it all the time. All the time. I think it’s about enough. I cut myself down constantly. It originally started with the desire to not be one of those Christians that acts like he knows everything. I wanted to be, and still want to be, just the “regular guy” who is in on this shockingly cool story that most of the world misunderstands (including most Christians I think.)
So I make fun of myself. I laugh about my weight. My lack of punctuality. Missing goals at work. Starting things and never finishing them. I joke about it. But at what point am I actually just normalizing all this stuff I do? You make light of something for 20 years and all of a sudden one day you wake up and realize you’ve accepted these things as normal.
That day was today for me.
Let’s not take this too far. There’s still plenty in life that is hillarious. I’m not going to become one of those blowhards that acts like he knows everything. I don’t know everything. But being 80 pounds overweight isn’t funny. My wife doesn’t think it’s funny. She sits sometimes wondering what life would be like if I died early. That’s not funny. Being late to meetings isn’t funny to the stressed out client waiting to talk to me about the biggest issue he has going in his life right now. Missing my goals at work isn’t funny to the bosses that absorb the lack of revenue out of their own pocket when I fall short.
I’m literally laughing my way out of the calling I’ve been given, and using humor as a means to desensitize myself to the ways in which I am sabotaging my own success in answering that calling. This isn’t hard news for me. I’m not beating myself up about it. But I’m having my eyes opened to the fact that this is serious business. There is a place for humor. But I’ve added humor to a lot of places it doesn’t belong.
Don’t worry. I’ll probably never stop laughing about the US Congress. And lots of other stuff in life is funny. And humor is a gift. Up to a certain point… and I think I just found that point.
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