Hey. What’s up? You look a little beaten down, bro.
Rough week? Yeah. Tell me about it. Work is overwhelming. Deadlines on top of deadlines you’ve already missed. The wife is on the phone. Mad. You’re behind on basically every goal you said you’d never fall behind on “this time.” Again. You’re out of shape. Again. And all you have time for is fast food that you eat in your car. Again.
You need a break. Five minutes. You need relief for just five minutes. If you had some drugs…. oh, but you’re not into drugs. Right, right. That’s cool. Good for you. You’re clean, and that’s a good thing. Pat yourself on the back.
Relax. I’ve got exactly what you need. Listen, junkies would dive into a beer. Grab a needle. I little heroin. Smoke a little weed. Hell, you could get some from the neighbor kid in high school probably. Calm those nerves a little. Walk away from those anxieties a bit. It’s not weakness. It’s a well earned vacation and it only lasts five minutes. Ten tops. Doesn’t the world owe you that? Hurts no one.
But like you said, you’re no junkie. I wouldn’t ask you to do that. It’s below you, right? You’re out here in the burbs. You have a reputation to think about. You go to church for goodness sake. Married. Kids. The whole bit. I’m not going to send you to some street corner looking for a dealer. When would you even have the time?
It’s cool. I can help you right now. Right this minute. No needle marks to cover up. No stench of pot on your clothes. They won’t even smell beer on your breath. I’ve got the drug you need and no one needs to know.
It gets better. It’s free. It’s everywhere. It won’t cost you a thing. And I don’t mean to be cliché here but it’s true: Everyone’s doing it. You’re no freak here pal. You’re just taking a break along with every other guy out there. Hey, isn’t it your God that made women beautiful? Why not appreciate a little of that beauty, right?
Worried about getting caught? Don’t worry about that. I’ll teach you everything you need to know. Ever heard of “In Private Browsing”? There’s a million tricks. I’ll show you how to delete it all. Wash it all away. No one needs to know. Not your boss. Not your wife. No one needs to know. Wash it all away like it never happened. Your five minutes of freedom done and gone, and back to work. No harm, no foul.
And like I said, it’s everywhere. I put it in your PC. I put it in your phone. Hell, I even stuck some softer forms of it on the magazine racks at the grocery checkout. I designed it to be easy, because it should be. You deserve that. You can’t even watch TV for five minutes without seeing it. Your kids? Hell they’ve seen so much of it just on network TV by the time their 11 they’re probably already on our side. I set you up good. I got your back.
So give it a try. Just take a look. You’re not hurting anyone. Victimless crime. It’s not even a crime brother! Trust me. The women you’re looking at? They’re totally into it. Just look at them. Don’t worry about a thing.
Five minutes of peace. It’s all you need. And I’ve got your back.
When we look at creation and conclude that something so beautifully perfect must have been cerated by God, then we have to look at internet porn and realize that it is so perfectly evil that it could only have been created by Satan. It delivers evil more efficiently and more effectively than anything else in the world. It delivers a more potent high than heroin and triggers exactly the same centers of the brain and it’s more addictive. It physically alters and rewires the way your mind processes thoughts by creating new neuropathways that are like a super highway designed just to deliver the high that porn provides.
If you need help, email me. firstname.lastname@example.org
We were built to be heroes. We know who the villian is. So it’s about time we started acting like heroes.