This is going to get messy.

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Why do I have such a hard time with obedience to God? Why do I have such a hard time with prayer? The answer is simpler than you might think. I’m pretty happy with my life the way it is right now. I know that stricter obedience to God, and spending more time in prayer with God, will bring me closer to Him. And I know that it could get messy.

One of my readers used the term “messy abandonment” in a comment. And even though I don’t yet describe myself as obedient to God, and I don’t do a good job of staying in constant prayer, I can see that things will get messy as I continue to grow in that direction. All of the little pieces I have lined up on the shelf will be knocked around, and out of order. I’m getting closer to where I’m okay with that. I’ve actually been praying lately for the willingness to become closer to God, to have a more open heart to obey Him, and a more mindful heart to stay in constant prayer.

And I think it’s making a difference in me. I think I can feel that relationship getting closer. It’s crazy if you think about it. The creator of everything sits there with His arms open waiting for me. For me. How crazy is that? I can barely get my head around it. In reality, I should be begging for the opportunity to kneel at His feet. Instead He just waits for me to come to Him. And when I do, He welcomes me with open arms.

Raised by a woman to taught me to earn everything I ever get, this is tough to figure out. But I’m figuring it out. Slowly. And I can see that it’s gonna get messy.

We were built to be heroes. And heroes get messy when they have to.

Photo credit: Aleksi Aaltonen / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND
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9 thoughts on “This is going to get messy.

  1. I’ve always thought, what would it look like if we lived in obedience to the world of God? What if we really, truly believed the Words God had to say? What would that look like?

    We would knock each other over trying to see who could be the first one to put his neighbor above himself/herself. The first one to feed and clothe the poor. The first one who gave of him or her self to the betterment of the human race.

    It is messy when we give of ourselves. Very messy. I for one say it’s time the Bride of Christ got down in the dirt and got messy.

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  2. In “The Fire of God’s Love” Bob Sorge says: If you want to know Jesus, you’ve got to embrace the cross and “go after Him.”

    The cross is messy Jim. By praying for the willingness to become closer to God, to have a more open heart to obey Him, and a more mindful heart to stay in constant prayer is “going after Him.” All of the little pieces you have lined up on the shelf will be knocked around, and out of order; you can count on it. But you will gain the priceless.

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  3. You’ve made me stop and pause to think.

    I “get” the dilemma re: the “earning it” value.

    God never stopped asking us to “be perfect”…yet He knows we can’t be. We show we love God by caring to do things His way, but we need to “change our minds” about the nature of the relationship: HE wants our hearts. We can’t stay in performance and ever really WANT to cuddle up…really close.

    It does become a little messy, doesn’t it?

    If we don’t “cuddle close” to confide our “performance stresses”… we’ll never receive the Daddy-guidance that brings us to assurance and freedom.

    I find Him to be very practical. Astonishingly so. It’s awesome to know…He not only knows how to get us where we need to be…He ensures we get there.

    I’ve been praying this morning (re: areas of resistance)…”Help me to do Your Will. Help me to WANT to do Your Will.) I can think in Master/Slave terms…or I can take that as a Promise, that He will do this for me…He will bring my mind into conformity with His. Actually, He’s already doing it…and I feel like “Daddy has my back.”

    p.s. He did bring me to a confrontation point, tho. I had to make up my mind, finally, was He going to remain “a scary, perfect God”…”or my loving heavenly Daddy.”

    My choice is in plain view.

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  4. You have earned it Jim. Your openess to your lord, your ability to welcome things being out of order, your honesty in sharing your throughts ,,,,, That’s Hero Currency! I call that God’s currency. Don’t let anyone – anyone! – tell you where your path is. Ever. And if it gets to messy? God will wash it clean. Give it a spin dry. And you are good to go and get – even messier!
    (I read your posts. They scream Humility. Proud tenative humility. God given gifts. And you are using them so wisely!)

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  5. To radically abandon ourselves to God is scary as crap. Somehow, we think that if we stay further away from Him, He won’t know what’s going on inside of us. Ha. This is the guy who placed billions of stars in the universe by merely breathing them into existence. He knows the exact number of sand granules there are on a beach. He knows how broken we are inside and all about the junk we bring to the table. Despite all of that, He sent His one and only Son to become like us, to go through everything we would ever endure, and sacrifice everything for the mess we are. His love strips away the filthy rags that we continue to hold onto, thinking we aren’t worthy of His friendship. I can’t possibly understand it all with my puny little mind, but I’m past the point of trying to hide who I am. I am nothing more than an undeserving beggar lying prone at the feet of Jesus. As the tears pour down my face, my Daddy picks me up, dusts me off, and reminds me that I am a child of royalty. The son of the King who is above all others.

    Great post, bro. Keep it up.

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